SumYung HotTea

First Posted 27-Nov-2014

She isn’t anyone specific. She’s a porn trope, if anything. Nubile, servile, likes to get drunk and high, shameless hussy and for me, dark brown hair, olive skin, blue eyes, and petite. The girl of this narrative was a damsel in distress. Her boyfriend had beaten her again, had kicked her out, in a cocaine fueled meltdown in which he accused her of stealing all his coke and sleeping with his best friend. I can believe the stolen coke bit. She was bisexual so the cheating thing may not be all that the boyfriend thought it was. She was homeless, needed a place to stay for a couple days, and thought I’d let her stay with me.

party-girl-3SumYung HotTea starts her stay on Wednesday night in the other bedroom and it’s about normal. Then on Friday, “would it be ok if her lesbian girlfriend came over?” She decides to cook an elaborate meal for said girlfriend. Steak, shrimp cocktail, green beans,  baked mac & cheese and chocolate mousse. We go to Save-A-Lot to shop for all this. She starts cooking at 1pm for a 6pm service to the girlfriend. We eat at 9pm. The kitchen is a mess. She burns the mac & cheese so bad the pot she used is ruined. She still tried to serve it. They go into the other bedroom at 11:30pm. I smell weed. I hear arguing. One of them has old L.L. Cool J. rap playing low. By 1pm I am asleep and the house is quiet.

I’m a dishwasher by trade. I’m also a foodie and sometime line cook. Her menu is an hour, tops, including prep and cleanup. 8 hours to make a mess of my kitchen and leave me with an overdone steak, watery green beans, burned mac & cheese with nasty curdled eggs and instant chocolate pudding spattered on my kitchen walls from her attempt at whipping it into a mouse isn’t fun or sexy. No hint of her showing interest in the mess she made. “It’ll be great.” No, it wasn’t great. Pissed me off.

Saturday morning I don’t see them. I do my usual, keeping NPR streaming in a window on my laptop. I get ansty and head out for coffee. I’m back by 3pm or so. I’m mad. I live in a neighborhood that is trying to shed itself of addiction and all the satellite crime that comes with it. My lease specifically says drug use is a violation of the terms and cause for eviction. Plus, with the ways that I am a hot mess I can’t do addicts. Recovering addicts, maybe. Actively using addicts? No.

SumYung HotTea resurfaces around 4:30pm Saturday. She looks like hell. She has a fat lip. Her neck has finger marks on it. I ask her if she’s ok and I get hairy eyeballs and a flipped bird.

I let her in assuming that she’d heard me when I said she could only stay a few days until she could find another place to crash. Now it’s been a week and my weekend featured my own personal porn trope that was the furthest thing from sexy. It was drama. I didn’t see most of it. Instead of a personal sex-tape with two hot lesbians I had one of them still in my house hungover with a fat lip.

Saturday night was quiet. She spent most of it in the other room watching YouTube videos of various rap artists. I went to church Sunday and knew I couldn’t let her stay any longer. Between the addiction and the apparent abuse I had she brought two of the four horsemen that destroy relationships into my home. She had made my house unsafe. She had to go.

At church I talked to a couple friends who volunteered to come over and help me make it clear that she had to leave right then. It was an angry hour as she told me what a shit I was for kicking her out. She left, though, and my house settled back into it’s usual calm.

I want to help. I want to serve those who can be served. I am also deeply broken with a past that I am not only but I am. That past means I choose to live an intentional life with boundaries that keep me safe. I’m sorry SumYung HotTea suffered for my failure to recognize my own limits and allow her into my home. But, the blog posts that this one stands in for remind me that I made the right choice. It might make a great porn video to have two sexy lesbians smoke weed, get drunk, play rap music and have sex with fat old man. It’s a really stupid thing to attempt IRL. SumYung HotTea’s been gone a year and that’s good.


The End of the World

First Posted 10-Feb-2105

Not dead yet? Sun rose again today? Doh. Guess we are not going to die just yet. Dang. I was hoping to be raptured so I didn’t have to do dishes tonight. Well that stinks. As I type it’s a fairly typical February day for Richmond, VA. It’s cold, it rained this morning, there was sleet but now it’s all melted and the streets are dry. We haven’t had our snowpocolypse storm yet this year. The one where the weatherman swears it’s going to dump 1,000 feet of snow on us and we won’t dig out until the year 3,000. So, there is bread, milk & toilet paper still on the shelves in the store.

“Mosque” by Antonio Melina

I am familiar with my Christian brethren who live breathless lives sure that today is the very day when St. Lucifer will show up, pronounce his victory over Christ, and begin the end of the world. Various fools in our history have set a date & time that came & went and the sun rose and the end of the world was . . . not so much. So, they had to mop the floors like yesterday and do dishes and all the other stuff that comes with the day to day. Not raptured today? Maybe tomorrow.

Now, though, I learn that there are Muslim fools who believe an Islamic apocalypse very similar to our Krischin one. They too keep believing that Mohamed is nigh and we are all dead about . . . now. Not dead? Rats. Maybe tomorrow.

The hamper is full. The victory garden needs weeding. I’m cool with a kind of passive foolishness where folk run about evangelizing because they are sure that the end is near. What I don’t like is the thought that we should do something to precipitate the end. If God isn’t moving fast enough to bring final judgement on his creation then we have to get it in gear and start making it happen. Uhm, what? Wait. Meaning?

If I understand this right, meaning that we are doing God’s work by killing all who don’t agree with our flavor of Abrahamic religion. Whoa. That’s not good. If it’s true, it needs to stop. Too, if there is an eight century beef against Christians because of what we did back in the day, OMG, start forgiving, please. I’ve said similar things earlier on this blog. Vengeance just begets more vengeance. The whole reason that the final play of Oresteia is a trial is that by then folk have figured out that the rule of law is the only thing to break the perpetual bloodshed of a feud. Resentment is a bottomless hole. There is nothing the object of the resentment can do to make it even. There are no words sufficient, no number of bodies on the floor that will be enough. At some point justice and mercy have to come together to break the cycle of violence.

I don’t have the way out of this. Being nice to them doesn’t seem to mean anything. Talk is useless. They use the time to clean their guns and resupply. I know of the debate over whether it is “Thou shalt not kill” or “Thou shalt not murder”. I tend to fall with those who say it is “Thou shalt not murder” and on that, say that there are times when killing is necessary. I’d rather we didn’t fight, we didn’t unleash our military might in the Middle East. But, if that’s what it takes, if bodies on the floor are what is needed to end the fight, so be it. Those of us that survive will get the dishes done and do the needful.