A Kingly Very Bad Day

I’ll get to the title, “A Kingly Very Bad Day” in a bit. First, a wander into a memory of mine. Dementia stole my Mom. Over five years it robbed her of everything until it took the last thing she had—life.

On the way to heaven my Mom would stand at a doorway and ask, “WHY IS THE TV OFF?” or “I WANT BREAKFAST! YOU HAVEN’T FED ME BREAKFAST! WHY ARE YOU STARVING ME!” and so on. My Dad had to buy a locking toolbox and put her meds in it because she was raiding the medicine cabinet for her proscribed sedatives. Dementia took her ability to moderate her emotions and behavior along with her memory.

Next, we didn’t spend much time in the honeymoon phase of the abuse cycle. There are already hints that tension is building. Tension building is the last step in the cycle before another explosive event. The abuse cycle lives in the absurd, heart-driven part of our reality. So it’s inconvenient in the way the weather is inconvenient. We know something is coming but we don’t know exactly what nor do we know exactly when.


HRH Joseph Robinette Biden reminds me of my Mom. He has moments where his brain isn’t connected to his mouth and stupid shit comes out. For the fact-checkers who worry about this space what follows is fiction. This is BiteMe’s very bad day.

05-Jan-2021, Washington D.C. AP Wire

A new, more calm era in American history was inaugurated yesterday. We go live now to the Senate Office Building lobby, “COME ON, MAN!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM THE SENIOR SENATOR FROM DELAWARE!!! YOU NEED TO FIX MY BADGE AND LET ME IN RIGHT NOW!!! WHAT’S YOUR NAME SON!? GET ME A PHONE BECAUSE YOU ARE FIRED!!!

Sir, I beg your pardon. You were inaugurated as the President yesterday. You are in the wrong building.


The Secret Service is at a loss. They protect POTUS but BiteMe runs at the metal detector hell-bent on shoving his way through. The Capital Police respond by taking him to the ground and cuffing him. He is lifted and helped through a side door on the public side of the metal detectors where paramedics await.

Objective Truth

05-Jan-2021, Washington D.C. CNN

Deep Fake QANON Terrorist Attempts Bombing Attack on Senate Office Building

We are getting reports of a terrorist dressed like the President and wearing a mask rushed the security gates before being arrested by Capitol Police. Sources familiar with the incident have informed us that the terrorist is a QANON supporter. We spoke with NY Times National Security Correspondent James Risen who informed us that the FBI had executed a search warrant on Yusef R. Biden, of Claymont, DE, and found pipe bomb materials and a laptop containing 4chan posts making false claims that our President cheated to get elected. The Capitol Police have not responded to our requests for information on Mr. Biden’s arrest.

“We go live to Manu Raju with details on this active shooter incident.” A live shot of Raju starts. In the background behind Raju is a shot of a perp walk with FBI agents and an old man who appears to be Joe Biden, “LET ME GO ASSHOLE! I AM THE SENIOR SENATOR FROM DELAWARE!”. “Raju? RAJU! Cut the camera. CUT THE CAMERA!”

A Kingly Very Bad Day Politico logo

08-Jan-2021, Washington D.C. Politico

Qanon Assassination Attempt on the President Thwarted

Washington D.C. Capital Police arrested Yusef R. Biden on charges of attempted assassination after Mr. Biden attempted to break through the security gates at the Senate Office Building. Sources familiar with the incident said that Mr. Biden threatened to kill the President who was not in D.C. at the time of the incident.

The Senate Office Building was locked down yesterday while the FBI and Capitol Police searched for bombs after discovering posts on 4chan by Mr. Biden threatening to blow up the White House. Security at the Capitol and the Senate Office Buildings has been increased. The National Guard deployed this morning to cordon off the area surrounding the Capitol Building, the Senate and House Office Buildings, and the Supreme Court.

Subjective Lies

11-Jan-2021, New York, NY WABC Rush Limbaugh Show

Todd Herman, “You gotta love the left. Joe Biden has a tantrum caught on security cameras. His outburst is the most dramatic evidence to date that the man is suffering from a mental decline. In minutes the Praetorian Guard was on duty accusing QAnon of attempting to bomb the Senate Office Building. I’d tell you to go look at the video but YouTube took it down. Politico, not to be outdone, posted a story claiming that Yusef R. Biden attempted to assassinate the President. Facebook and Twitter are blocking posts that dispute the Politico story. We voted for this, America. We’ll be right back after this obscene profit break.”

11-Jan-2021, New York, NY WOR Sean Hannity

“We have a true Schiff Show on our hands, America. The President was caught on tape trying to get into the Senate Office Building. Biden’s Praetorian Guard is peeing their pants with excitement over the arrest of Yusef R. Biden, of Claymont, DE on charges of attempting to assassinate the President. CNN reported that pipe bomb materials were found at the residence of Mr. Biden. Mr. Biden’s lawyer released a statement saying that his client was not in D.C. on Friday and has never made a pipe bomb.”

12-Jan-2021, Atlanta, GA, Cuomo Prime Time News

We have proof, America. Sean Hannity is a threat to our Democracy. His lies are inciting insurrection in Washington D.C. Hannity claimed that our President was arrested for attempting to break into the Senate Office Building when in fact, a certain Yusef Biden is in jail because he assaulted the Capital Police while trying to assassinate the President. Hannity needs to be in prison and his social media accounts canceled! Hannity’s continued freedom is a travesty of justice!

Complicated Truth

12-Jan-2021, New York, NY WABC

We are sad to announce that Joseph R. Biden, the 46th President of the United States has been admitted to the Memory Care Unit of Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, MD. Dr. Sean Connolly said that Mr. Biden is resting comfortably and responding to treatment. Vice President Harris has assumed the role of Acting President. In a statement, Madame Pelosi said, “this is a very sad moment for our country. Joe is a close friend and a dedicated servant of this country.

12-Jan-2021, Washington D.C. Walter Reed

Dr. Connolly, “Good morning Mr. President. How are you?”
POTUS, “Good morning. Why did you call me President?”
“Sorry, Joe, what is today’s date?”
“January 4th”
“Good. What year?”
“What do you mean what year? Don’t you know? It’s 1973. Where is my breakfast?”
“Sir, we fed you two hours ago.”
“I don’t remember that. I’m hungry, can I get breakfast?”

15-Jan-2021, Washington D.C. Walter Reed

BiteMe, “Hey baby, what’s up?”
HRH Harrassem, “Excuse me!?”
“What you doing, chocolate love?”
“Sir, there is a full calendar today. Can we get started?”
“No. You have your clothes on.”
“Sir, do you know who I am?”
“You are Neesha, my hookup from Wilmington. Good times.”
“Sorry, sir, I am Kamala Harris, your Vice President.”
“That’s not right. Richard Cheney is Vice President. You are my special friend who gives me happy endings. Your hair looks great. Can I smell it?”
HRH Harrassem leaves the Presidential suite at Walter Reed, “I can’t work with him. He’s not processing things right. I need to talk to Nancy and Ron.”

18-Feb-2021, Washington D.C. Rose Garden

Jen Psaki, “First, I will not be taking questions, Next, it is with great sadness that I am here to announce our friend and President, Joseph Robinette Biden, has been diagnosed with severe Frontotemporal Dementia. He is resting comfortably at the Presidential Suite of Walter Reed. Vice President Harris, in coordination with members of the Cabinet, Ron Klain and Nancy Pelosi have begun the 25th Amendment process for protecting the integrity of our government. Ms. Harris has assumed the role of acting President while we complete the transition to a new administration.”

18-Feb-2021, Richmond, VA

This is a tangent. It does not connect to the above fictional narrative about our hapless President. Yesterday afternoon Kathryn Limbaugh announced that her husband, Rush Limbaugh passed away. A lot is being said, some of it rather angry. The only thing I have to add is this–if we only listen to members of our tribe who encourage us to blame and hate the other then we will never be free of the sins we accuse the other of. Blame and hate bind both the accuser and the accused. To be free we must continue to forgive and love our enemies. Rush was a spearpoint irritating the elites who believe their post-apocalyptic paradise only includes sycophants and true believers. He will be missed.



For the simple, BiteMe is my nickname for our new President, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. I can sort of understand a woman returning to her pimp. The first five years of leaving the life suck. Your whole support system and network of relationships that enabled the life are gone. You have nothing. No job, no home, no friends, no family, and no face. Ours is a material culture. We evaluate face based on who your family is, what you own and who you know. Lose all that and you are nothing.

We didn’t even do that. We left our summer romance with a John for the Pimp Daddy’s bag man–BiteMe. It’s worse than the above paragraph. We went from a John who thought he loved us and we loved him because he had all the things we thought would make us happy to a senile old man who owed everything to our pimp and turns out, also has nothing. Talk about stupid moves. . .

Bag Man

BiteMe is Obama’s bag man. Everything he has came from our Pimp Daddy Obama. So BiteMe doesn’t have any of what he promises. It gets better. BiteMe is a whore whose ass is tattooed with 習近平’s name. Xi Jinping owns BiteMe and a good number of the elites in Washington D.C. Most of our government debt is loans we borrowed from 中國. The big three oligarchy’s, Apple, Google, and Facebook/Twitter are huge clients of 中國. Their culture is a westernized Chinese Communism. It shouldn’t be surprising that BiteMe slips sometimes and we get a glimpse of how deeply Maoist he is.

BiteMe is who we left because the John was being mean to us. The John wanted us to come to Jesus. Our PimpDaddy abused us and we were tired of the work so we fantasized that Donald J. Trump was Richard Gere and we were Julia Roberts. That went well.

Abuse Cycle Bite Me

Again again

It is a sadly too oft-repeated story. An abused woman plots and executes her escape. She does all the right things and spends a half-year recovering from an abusive relationship. Then the abuser contacts her, apologizes, and promises to turn over a new leaf. He says he loves her and that nobody can love her like he does. She melts and goes back to him only to find that the abuse is escalated after a honeymoon period in which he keeps most of his promises to participate in couples therapy and anger management training.

Everyone in the woman’s circle of influence is amazed that she can’t see what a complete ass-hat the man is. He’s got a record, did time, most of it for violent crimes including domestic battery. Yet she loves him and stays in the relationship through repeated cycles of escalating abuse. Even though some victims have kids with their abusers. Actually, having children with this fucker just gives him more victims.

Why go back to BiteMe? I mean, he’s not even our Pimp Daddy. He’s a bitch himself so like, how can he really do anything? Here is the mistake the John made and that we made—we thought we wanted Hope and Change but once we left our PimpDaddy we found out that Change isn’t so Hopeful. John wanted us to behave like a Long Island wife and we were trailer trash. He liked Russian caviar and we liked collard greens. His Spotify featured Nirvana and ours was full of Luke Bryan, Garth Brooks, and Toby Keith. At parties, the women talked about their favorite white wine while we asked around for a “Sex in the Woods”. Seriously.

Oh. OH! Church! The John wanted us to go to church. And not even a church with good music. No, he wanted us to go to Old South Haven Presbyterian Church. Twice annoying because Old South Haven is a PCUSA temple to Woke Faith and old AF.

Country Girl in Long Island

It’s one thing to be getting paid to wear Daisy Dukes, cowboy boots and pigtails while sounding like single wide trash from the Delta. Or arrive in a long gown and ballet flats with a Brooklyn accent. But as much as the John wanted to teach us the Queen’s English and have us shop on Fifth Avenue we were still trailer trash and liked our whiskey sours. He took us out of the trailer but the trailer never really left us.

We got into this huge argument with the John because he caught us sitting on his Italian leather couch with a bucket of chicken from Chicken Au GoGo including a side of cole-slaw. He didn’t care about the greasy fingerprints we left. He was mad because we didn’t order take-out from Caviar Russe. Chicken Au GoGo was too lowbrow for him. Yeah . . . uhm . . . there is bougie we can tolerate and then there is bourgeois that is fighting words JOHN.

Jimmy Choos people. Yes, the Pimp Daddy beat us into the hospital and never paid us. Sure, PimpDaddy had babies all over DC and owed child-support to a gaggle of baby-mamas. But PimpDaddy let us shop on his card and never questioned what we bought. Just bring him money and hide the bruises. We loved him. We wanted to go back to him. Why not? He left four years ago to go play golf in Palm Springs and reconnect with his wife. He went legit on us. Asshole.

Just Listen

Then BiteMe hits us up and is all ears and sympathetic. He apologizes for the times he beat us because we didn’t have Pimp Daddy’s money. He confesses that Pimp Daddy beat him too and so he is also a victim. He’s sweet to us, buying us a silver plate pendant from Solid Gold Jewelers. He took us to Golden Corral for breakfast. Tho . . . his debit card didn’t go through at Golden Corral so we paid 😒. So we get with him.

We are in the post-coital bliss, America. We took a beating and heard sweet words of apology, promises of money and promises that we don’t need to be afraid anymore. So we broke up with the John and hooked up with Pimp Daddy’s bag man BiteMe. BiteMe says he always loved us and hated that we had to work for Pimp Daddy. He promises he’ll treat us better than that evil man John. And for now, we are good with that.

Some things to keep in mind. Abuse is a frog-in-the-pot thing. Most of the abuse cycle isn’t bad. We can keep telling ourselves that the abuse won’t happen again through most of it. Then it happens again and it’s rinse/repeat. Also, abusers like to isolate us–gaslight us. It’s a long game where a little bit at a time s/he tells us that the only safe place is in the house with him or her. We are accused of cheating, of contacting the outside world. We get a beating anytime we hint at viewpoints that drift from the opinion of our abuser. And it just grinds at us because each repeat is a little worse.


Another thing–victims remember the abuse. They also remember the increasing peace they experienced when they fled the abuser. Third, and importantly for this essay, some abusers escalate far enough that even though we escaped with a plan and have started a new life, the abuser hunts us down, saying, “if I can’t have you then nobody can. Come home or I will kill you.”

Fourth. Addiction is often mixed up in this. Addiction has a half-life. Early on it’s great but soon enough the entropy ensues. Once we turn that entropic corner things only get worse. Ahead of us are familiar paths of jail, hospital, rehab, and the morgue. Abuse is like that. It only escalates into worsening abuse, hospital, attempts to escape, and for some, the morgue.

BiteMe just got us back. He says the abuse is John’s fault. With him, things will be better. And we want to believe him but we remember the beatings.

BiteMe Dystopia

This is Not the End

This is who we elected. A bag man whose greatest ambition is to collect money for a Pimp Daddy who has retired. His old extortion accounts are refusing to pay. Quite the contrary, they are calling in his debts and he has to pay. He took us to !Fantastic Thrift! to buy clothes and again, his card didn’t go through.

Ahead of us is more blame, that it’s our fault Bag Man BiteMe is in the trouble he’s in. And more beatings. And more isolation because we are accused of stepping out (we didn’t but it doesn’t matter).

We are broke (kind of), homeless, destitute. Now, those familiar with Step Work know that rock bottom is the worst and the best. It’s the worst because our lives are as near death as can be without actual flat-lining. It’s also the best because this is the turning point where we start working toward a clean and sober, healthy life.

I’d like to say that we are at rock bottom. We are not. One of the really ugly things about abuse is that it teaches us to pick abusive partners. Pimp Daddy left us and BiteMe claims he’s not that asshole. We thought we loved John but he’s all Long Island snooty. So what we want most of all is our Snuggie®, chamomile tea and to binge-watch “Sleeping With Other People” on Netflix. We moved in with BiteMe because he has a really nice couch and a big TV.

It’s too early to tell if we made the right move. What’s worrying is that BiteMe’s friends don’t like us and keep posting to his Twitter that we are trouble. Maybe. Mostly we are tired and hungry and don’t want to be Julia Roberts anymore.


You So Sadomasochistic

First Posted 28-Oct-2014

I may be repeating myself. It is something I noticed as an Americorp Volunteer at Boaz & Ruth. People who had been horribly abused as children sought out adult relationships with abusers. It was as if because of some unresolved business with God the evil of their parents drove them to carry it into their adult life as they sought partners. Children of drug addicts somehow found their greatest love in other addicts and drug dealers. I’ve learned of late that some of the crap I went through as a kid is an inheritance from my grandparents and perhaps further. Lovely.

shacklesI live in the capital of the South. Richmond, VA is one corner of the slave triangle. The other corners are London and the West African Coast. The wound on the soul of slavery is still felt deeply here. It still festers in the hearts of our ancestors, slave and slave owner. The abuse perpetuated was horrid. The inherited bitterness deep and hard to heal. “Why can’t you just get over it?” If you have been abused you know. It isn’t something you just get over. So much of your life is colored by the scars of the abuse. The physical wounds heal. The psychological wounds can be a chronic illness that is difficult, perhaps impossible to heal. You don’t just “get over it”.

We elected a black President. Good on us. He is not, as is popular to say in the conservative press, HRH Obama. But the way some of us have responded to him, the expectations we have placed on him, feel to me like slaves wanting to return to the plantation and shackle themselves to involuntary bondage and whippings. It feels like some of us are seeking from him the very sorts of behavior we despise because it hurt us so. I hope you are mad at those words. You should be. Obama needs to succeed as a president, as a man without regard to race. That his popularity is fading among some because he didn’t buy them a cell phone and a Cadillac should expose a flaw in the character of our culture. It should not be a metric of Obama’s performance as president. It should also reveal a need to continue to heal the wounds in our culture which drive us back to the destructive relationships we left.

That itch to seek justice from the sumbitch that abused us, just drives us back into the hell we so passionately say we never want to return to. The healing has to come from forgiveness and a healthy relationship to God. We need to leave our sumbitch alone. One more thing, though. I am saying we need to love our enemies and turn the other cheek. I’m not saying that we should forgo seeking appropriate justice. Choices need to have consequences. Folk that are behaving in a dissonant or damaging way need to be called to account. Most of the time this means involving the cops or other appropriate support. It’s not something we should do on our own.

This relates to Obama how? We have to stop electing politicians we elevate to demi-gods or kings. We have to stop putting them in power expecting them to stop abusing us, wrap us in material comfort, and attempt to fill the God sized hole with pleasures or things of this world. We have to get over the idea that a president is good or bad based on whether he buys us a Cadillac and a cell phone. Obama can’t do a lot of what we wanted him to do. We have to do it person by person, at the local level. That’s how we break the cycle of bitterness we have inherited.