Cranked Chax

Cranked you know. Chax is a brand of check printing and debt collection software. So Cranked Chax needs definition. Patience, Charlie has added to his reputation. First, Chax is a fake currency I made up while making a joke at work some years ago. It was an answer to some smack talk that I owed a coworker for something he’d done in the regular performance of our jobs. I said I’d pay him in Chax (checks). Chax is valued at whatever suits my whim. Lately, it’s 100,000 Chax to 1 USD because I feel like that’s right.

Charlie doesn’t know what he has with Saito-san. He lives in an employee dorm at the casino. His RFID tag gets him unlimited access to the buffet he works at. So food isn’t an issue. The salary is above average for a pot washer. So that Charlie, if he behaved, could pay Saito-san back for his gambling debt. Charlie doesn’t behave.

Cranked Chax. OpenSea is an NFT marketplace. MetaMask is a cryptocurrency wallet. NFTs are digital art that operates like cryptocurrency. A friend suggested these as a way to get paid for art. Charlie heard of this and gave us a story. Both OpenSea and MetaMask are money so fast it made my hair hurt. NTFs are cranked chax.

Cranked Chax Dopamine Rush

I tried. ArtsFireRVA has an OpenSea collection of six of my paintings. I’ve had four people express interest in the NFTs in my collection. Two of them attempted sales. Both failed. Why? To complete the sale I had to have a matching amount of Ethereum cryptocurrency in my MetaMask Wallet. On a good day I might have $20.00 I can waste on something. $200? No. Worse is $1700.00.

It’s called Impulse Control Disorder. Charlie has it. I have it. I, fearing the worst and letting my anxiety shout down God, spent an afternoon trying to sell two NFTs. It didn’t go well. USD 300 is now in the hands of MetMask and OpenSea. That was rent money. Now I’ve got to scramble to pay the rent in 11 days. I’ll get it done. I always do. Charlie? Not so much.

I haven’t felt a rush like that in decades. Positively orgasmic. Taking a risk that could set a course for me that solves many problems I really want to be solved. Money so fast it was on crank. The scent of cranked chax monetized as USD was strong.

Johnny Cash Sixteen Tons © Mercury Records

A Day Older and Deeper in Debt

I envy Charlie. Wash pots from 5 a.m. to 3 p.m. six days a week. Other than that, easy living. Saito-san pays a crew of Southeast Asian women to look after him. He has no worries. But Charlie can’t sit still. And he wants the orgasmic rush that comes with taking large risks. It’s why he won’t get up from the roulette wheel when he’s up by a big amount. Ditto down.

Charlie’s downtime is on Sunday. Saito-san is culturally Shinto and nominally Zen Buddhist. He also respects Christians and agrees with their habit of taking a Sabbath on the sixth day. Charlie was raised Catholic. He could respect the Sabbath and go to Mass. He could. Sunday is also, “clean the walk-in” day for the buffet. Anything unsold from the week before is put out and discounted. The whole day is free to employees of the buffet. So for Charlie, Sunday is 七つの大罪の日 (Seven Sins Day). I burned up a Tuesday afternoon trying and failing to sell two NFTs on Opensea.

Maybe Charlie did better? He did not. Grappa and day trading are not a good mix. Aderol doesn’t improve things. The day started okay. A whale spent his vacation at the casino. The whale is a huge fan of Wagyu A5. Saito’s chef ordered enough to keep him happy. Also served were bluefin sashimi and fugu. Ingredients that you don’t expect to go on clearance at a buffet. But the whale was gone and there was enough left to make some available to employees.

Gluttony Achievement Unlocked

A5 Wagyu is best on a screaming hot flat griddle cooked quickly. The fat is the thing. So low & slow bbq is wrong. Also cutting it into American steak cuts like ribeye or New York strip. Think yakitori, yakiniku or sashimi. Charlie, though . . . talked his way to a piece of chuck roast cooked to well done. The result? A chewy, lean piece of grey beef that was an insult to good Japanese cuisine, “I eat ‘merican beef.” Ok, Charlie.

So he got his Wagyu on, ate it with a tumbler of grappa, and set to work on OpenSea. With what money? Well . . . he found a mark who sent him 10 Ethereum to work with. Deets about OpenSea. It uses MetaMask to authenticate. You have to have a funded wallet on MetaMask to get past the public OpenSea site. 10 ETH so, no problem there.

What does a potwasher buy with that much cryptocurrency? Porn. Lots and lots of porn. Forget any romantic ideas of NFTs supporting good art. Maybe that was a thing as it was being planned? Now? Not so much. Now it’s dominated by the dark web and corrupt day traders. Unsavory people use it to launder currency. Does this bother Charlie? No.

The Seven Deadly Sins--Greed, James Perez Cranked Chax

Six Left

Food crime committed with expensive leftovers. That’s one sin down, and six to go. I found an OpenSea collection called “Rare Porn”. yw. Things I do for my readers. But it’s not Charlies kink. He’s into nubile thick white women doing rough sex. Ick. No, I didn’t look to see if there really is a collection of NFTs to satisfy Charlie. No need.

So this is what happened. That 10 ETH went to an OnlyFans girl who had pics of her minted as NFTs. Those were the tease. To see her doing your fantasy nasty meant spending more ETH to get a membership on her private webcam shows. Cranked chax is extremely fast money. All hope of moving that to slow money is stupid. ETH spent on OnlyFans girls is even faster.

I can live on the value of 10 ETH in USD for a while. Charlie smoked that in one very intense hour with the Only Fans girl. He owes Saito-san so he’s a potwasher. Now he owes a mark who he promised would get his ETH back and then some. Let’s GO Charlie!

Lust Minus

In the moment the world and the flesh deliver. It feels so good. So good. Then the darker side of life arrives. S/he wants to know if you are here for more than a hot summer night. The things you want to forget like income and bills and chores and the legion of anxious voices in your head you wish would just shut the f*ck up and come back through the fading ecstasy. S/his toothbrush is staring at you as you face the bathroom mirror.

Monday morning, 3 a.m. for Charlie. Jasmine is pulling the bottom fitted sheet off the bed while he tries to ignore the time. It’s one of those hangovers where your head and stomach are in a bar fight over who will make you feel sicker. But . . . Monday and the cooks never have any f*cks to give. Pots shall be washed.

Jasmine, “You can eat after you have showered. You stink.” Yeah. Life. For all of us and for Charlie. Last night is at best, a few hours. This, the daily rhythm, is the other 20 hours or so. The buffet opens at 6am. Charlie, if late for work, will be greeted by over eight hours of dirty pots made by the bakers and prep cooks who work overnight to put on breakfast. He stumbles through his shower, a cup of Bustelo instant coffee, and a rice ball filled with Chinese pork barbecue. Jasmine puts a plate of diced Century egg in front of him. His head won the bar fight and the migraine is epic. He likes Century eggs but this morning the threats from his stomach drive him to beg off, “Thanks bae, gotta go.”

Choice Consequences

I’ve done worse things. This is part confession and part giggle at one more thing Charlie did. I’m not as entertaining as Charlie. But I know that rush Charlie gets when he is in his flow and feels like he can defeat Lucifer at Texas Hold-em. I felt it Tuesday as I juggled setting up a laptop for a customer and tried to close two deals on NFTs I have on OpenSea.

This is a common prayer request, “get Lucifer away from me.” I prayed this: be louder than Lucifer. So Jesus did. First with Christian music and then with jokes. $300.00 of rent money is a tough nut. I tasted some of what Charlie tastes when he’s sure he’ll win this time. I don’t like it.

Being Chrisitian isn’t a palliative. Jesus doesn’t make things easier. He has a 耶穌的生活方式 Way of Life that is eternal. It isn’t safe but it is good. I was down. PUDFARB offered me their life. Hard pass. This way isn’t easier but it is better.

El Camino al infierno

This is why the above paragraphs are important. Following His way is high risk. We are asked to be self-sacrificing, to desire nothing but Jesus, to bless those who persecute us, and more. It’s crazy. Charlie’s way would be so much easier.

Charlie seldom gets through all seven sins on Sunday. Doing that takes talent and strength. I’ve spent over twenty years shedding any desire that stands between me and Christ. I write about the Deadly Seven but I’m not about to throw away the last twenty years. My biggest sin lately is cheating on my keto diet.

Just because I and so many others surrendered to Christ we are not immune to temptation. A minion got a win last Tuesday and now I’ve got the consequences. Being a disciple means I have a way to confess and repent. Also walk closer to Him. On we go.