I so want WUPR to be call letters I can use. But there is a WUPR in Utuado, Puerto Rico. So instead—KPUFR—People’s United Free (Radio). KPUFR in 2125 owns the Hulbert Block on Shattuck Avenue and Allston Way, Berkeley, CA. Bipedal cats have set up an Occupy Edy’s in the historic Eddie Bauer store.
Inger is resting on Buckskin Mountain. Her usual DoorDash driver died in front of her house after delivering her dinner a few weeks ago. Jace’s death shattered Inger’s sense of serenity. Buckskin is her hermitage where she recovers. Mikako is there with her. Inger has KPUFR streaming through the cabin’s speakers.
KPUFR has a nightly news cast akin to Pacifica Radio’s Evening News. It’s support comes from PUDFARB Broadcasting Cooperative. Truth is what Chancellor Virex Sol’s Ministry of Emotional Compliance (MEC) says it is. KPUF enjoys a comfortable place in the Empire. Listener sponsored, obvi, and assured a comfortable budget by HRH Sol.
KPUFR Evening News
By questionable surveys and unreliable data collection, KPUFR is the number one evening news show in the Citadel. Its ratings are consistently high. Without further ado, let’s listen to the number one news anchor Fern Loomis!
“Good evening. I dunno y’all. If you tune to the news and someone else is behind this microphone you can guess what’s happened. Let’s get into the headlines for tonight:
- We are in our third month of record high temperatures. It’s been a record summer of thermetic non-compliance. Officials at the Weather Compliance Agency declined to make a statement. A source familiar with the issue indicated that the issue has been logged and will be investigated.
- Chancellor Sol’s latest emotional metrics show gratitude slipping, while nostalgia surges. Sol Loyalists received notification that their registered devotions at WCA kiosks are trending down. Let’s step it up, citizens. Or don’t. Sol cares. I report.
- Vandalized MEC monuments display graffiti tagged “We Won’t Be Quiet”. Sources say an investigation is under way. Rumor has it that the Reyes Sector is behind the grafitti.
- KPUF launches Reflective Radiance, a recovery segment tuned for tonal clarity and calibrated breath. Sign up online at radiance.kpuf.org. Let’s heal the addicts ready for a change.
We begin tonight at the Occupy Edy’s encampment, where protestors mark half a year of resistance. Feline demonstrators have updated their demands: access to wet food variants, biometric-free transit, and claw-based signatures. Fog canons failed to deter the crowd, although three kittens reportedly fell asleep mid-protest.
KPUFR Reports Feline Micro Aggression
Next, The Citadel’s micro-policy algorithm glitched for 4.6 seconds today, briefly assigning shared dental insurance to non-sentient AI and downgrading human hydration rights in quadrant 9B. In response, more than 80,000 citizens signed neural petitions demanding accountability in sub-sentiment governance. The glitch also mislabeled two empathy drones as hostile, triggering a brief cuddle lockdown near the Pacifica Spiral.
MEC officials called the incident ‘a momentary blur in calibrated governance,’ and promised additional breathwork funding to affected zones. Citizens are advised to monitor ambient feeling fluctuations and report any excessive clarity to the nearest emotional relay station.
For our next story, Chancellor Sol delivered today’s sentiment report with the usual velvet and voltage. The headline: Gratitude down, nostalgia up. Here’s the quote that hummed through the neural bands: ‘The Gratitude Index has gently softened, registering a 0.6% deceleration… Meanwhile, nostalgia engagement has surged 4.1%. This uptick speaks to the emotional maturity of our collective waveform.’ A surge in memory. A dip in thanks. The Citadel calls it maturity. I call it mood. “To restore balance, Zones 3 through 11 get extra Warmth Loops and lullabies from pre-accord tapes. Listeners in Zone 5 report déjà vu and mild retinal blooming. No casualties. Just feelings.”
Expensive Green
We’ll revisit this metric shift tomorrow during our Reflective Radiance show. Until then, remember: emotional metrics measure the breeze. But it’s the gusts that move the story.
Green Tea prices are on the rise. Japanese Sencha was 𐆑680 fiscra last month. Forecasts predict it will exceed 𐆑720 in Quintilis. Somewhat related, MEC destroyed a counterfeit printing press in San Leandro yesterday. The agency seized eleven million in fiscra valueand shipped to an ethical and green disposal facility.
The monthly distribution of rice is delayed this month. Officials unlocked the warehouse at the Covenant Storage Authority to find the rice gone. A tablet wired to a solar panel was on a podium, scrolling this message, “You owe us for your rice.” Sentiment Reinforcement Operatives are investigating the theft.
Country Speaks
Fern, in a distinctly Appalachian accent, breaks her normal, neutral vocal candance, Y’all a special request from you, my audience: my friend of twenty years, a good man, who lived a quiet life as an undocumented worker, is gone. I’ve tried to contact him through the hive and I get crickets. I’m not religious. But if you are and you pray, please pray for my good friend Miguel. Misericordias viajando, mi amigo.”
Miguel is good. Through back channels he was offered a clerical position at Performance Food Group in the valley east of the hills. His undocumented status was with the Citadel. Sector Reyes and PFG naturalized him. He escaped the Citadel for the work, sure, but also the eased burden of unencumbered commerce. The Citadel demands compliance at an epic level. Natural variations in color from small variations in ink batches to the boxes of a load cause rejection of entire loads on a truck. Failure of a truck to correctly locate registration tags on a license plate could cause the driver to be arrested and the truck to be impounded. And people wonder why it’s so hard to get anything shipped to an address inside the Citadel. Compliance is expensive.
Concern has surfaced among some of the elite circle Citadel members. With Miguel and other undocumented workers escaping for the Central Valley and Sector Reyes lawns are browning and becoming overgrown with weeds. Fruit trees are soiling the sidewalks with over ripe fruit. Officials familiar with the concerns tell us that all options are being explored.
Only the Correct Colors
There are plenty of open positions in service trades like landscaping and food service. Vacancies in these trades are on the increase. A Bureau of Vocational Sentiment Alignment (BVSA) said they are investigating the root causes of this increase and expect to have a published report in Q4 2126. We encourage our working age listeners to register with the BVSA and apply to these open positions. Special Social Credit points will be awarded to successful candidates.
One thing, though. We are over supplied with white, cis-gendered staff. Our numbers for TQIA+ brown people threaten Citadel serenity. The Chancellor has offered housing bonuses and gift cards for beef to well qualified, undocumented candidates who fit our quotas. We are in pursuit of serf bliss. ¡Viva la Ciudadela y nuestro querido líder Vox!
Wrapping up, a quiet nod of respect to the citizens who have found sources for labor and material goods outside the Citadel’s Co-op Distribution Authority. For most of us, rice is a luxury and pancakes are made of unobtanium. Yet these more equal than most citizens enjoy fresh strawberries on their pancakes with butter we only dream of. Must be nice to be an elite.
High in the Santa Rosa Range
It was a good weekend bar backing at the American Cafe. She put her tips in an old coffee tin she found at the mine, “Mikako, can we listen to something easier than Fern? I need to chill” The cameras watching the area around the assay cabin showed nothing interesting. A spider entered and left the frame as it built a web. Streaks of flying insect motion dashed across the frame. Outside she could hear owls screeching and coyotes calling to the stars.
Fern spent her broadcast hinting that all is not well in the Citadel. She’d better be more circumspect. Dissidence is handled brutally by the Chancellor. Mikako started streaming WAPPL over the speakers in the cabin. “Mikako. I ordered Bluefish. My phone says it’s here. Can I get steamed Bluefish with pickled Oka and Radish salad? Some steamed brown rice would be nice also.”
“Of course, Inger. I’ll warm your rice and plate the salad while the Bluefish finishes steaming.” She pivots gently from the counter, tapping her screen to cue a favorite episode of ‘Porch Signals”
Blue Fish Al Fresco
Outside the cabin is a small dining table and chairs, “Mikako, let’s eat outside.” Mikako steps outside with a stacked place setting, place mat and napkin. She sets the table for Inger then goes back inside to plate the meal.
Inger, “Hey. what’s up with the bipedal cats occuping that building? That seems like a stupid protest.”
“I don’t have an opinion on that, Inger. The Citadel seems to experience a high number of protests relative to nearby fiefdoms.”
“Do you think the Chancellor is any good? He made a lot of promises to get elected.”
“I am not configured to offer opinions on current events.”
“That’s no fun!”
Inger comes outside, sits down, and rests for a minute to take in the view of the setting sun and the valley below the mountain. A nearby owl sings to the rising moon. Mikako serves the meal and steps to the side. “Girl, I’m good. You can go plug in to charge.”
Mikako does that. The house settles into its evening routine. Inger’s troubles will be there in the morning. Dinner awaits.