Marriage Proclamation Alpha Chihuahua

Captain Kyle Branson leaned into the cab, swagger thick as the heat—right up until Dana stepped out of the booth and asked, ‘Honey, do you love me?’ His whole posture collapsed before the women even put Muteki back in gear.Continue Reading

Down with Flair Flat Chested

Flat-chested women and trans folks were supposed to make the world go round—am I right? Turns out, not so much. Flattening the economy created new kings; flattening gender is getting the same rejection from the young.Continue Reading

I am an anarchist

Same ancient confession, different costumes:
“I lack self-control, so the world must change—not me.”From Karens bunching their Karen Neuburger microfiber briefs over a “Freedom” T-shirt, to zealots obsessing over a woman’s eyes through a niqab slit, to progressives demanding censorship because words hurt—we keep dodging the one job that’s always been ours: grow up.Continue Reading

Existential Pragomatic

Winter sucks. Cold, dark, broke vibes. Existential dystopia feels like the new normal.
But solstice is coming. The light starts returning the very next day—even if you can’t feel it yet. Spring always wins. Hold on. The turn is real, even when it feels like bullshit.Continue Reading

Rubber Chicken

The brig in Norfolk smelled like bleach, rust, and broken dreams. Damian sat on the lower bunk in his orange jumpsuit, squeezing a squeaky rubber chicken in each fist like they were nunchaku.“That bottle blonde with the toy sword thinks she’s hot shit,” he told the other detainees, who were already trying not to laugh. “Brown belt my ass. What that bitch needs is some sausage and a good spanking. Knock her up. I’m gonna claim her with these sexy rubber chickens.Continue Reading

You DID NOT say THAT! Why Not Gratitude

Airing grievances at Thanksgiving might feel cathartic, but it’s saltwater masquerading as relief—leaving everyone more parched and bitter. Gratitude and compassion lower stress, build trust, and rewire us for connection, while chronic complaining keeps the brain locked in threat-mode and slowly turns resentment into identity. Keep the table for real honesty wrapped in “we’re in this together,” not a comedy bit that quietly teaches us to weaponize hurt.Continue Reading