Officer Krupky is Salvatore Jimenez. No, I’m not endangering him. Saito-san has him in a safe house for now. Sal defecting is one thing. Getting his family out and settled was next level. But. PUDFARB thinks with its heart. So it can be defeated. Saito-san and PUDFARB have some history.Continue Reading
Cranked you know. Chax is a brand of check printing and debt collection software. So Cranked Chax needs definition. Patience, Charlie has added to his reputation. First, Chax is a fake currency I made up while making a joke at work some years ago. It was an answer to someContinue Reading
I got an impressive e-mail from PUDFARB REC with the subject line, “The Truth Shall Set You Free.” Wrong. Their truth is that I am more evil than Voldemort. Every misery they suffer is attributable to something I did or am. All the candles lit, rituals performed, and incantations spokenContinue Reading
Yo, are you holy woke, bro? Yes? By how much? Are you genuinely holy woke, tho? Have you identified your grievance, malady, and kink? Nobody cares about pronouns anymore. That’s so yesterday. Did you submit your GMK choices to the PUDFARB Committee on Compliance, Karen? What was the verdict? ToContinue Reading
The Bucket List is empty. I have an empty bucket list. Why? I don’t wait. If it’s important enough for the bucket list then I’ll do it. My core narrative over the last sixty-plus years focused on the failures. No white-collar union job I can retire from. The wife turnedContinue Reading
Crazy, right? Victory is Evil? Whelp . . . if you want to keep your place in the New Woke Order you better agree that victory is evil. Your Social Credit Score in the NWO requires three things: a grievance, a malady and a kink. So to maintain a highContinue Reading
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE! TONIGHT’S MAIN EVENT, MAMA V MAGA! In the blue corner, the reigning, defending champion of the Empire, wearing blue trunks and a cute rainbow sports bra, MAMA! In the red corner, the enemy of God, the evilest, evil, evil contender of all time, the racist,Continue Reading
This must be a leaked e-mail. I was BCC’d on it. “PUDFARB DIE BUREAU PROJECT MANAGEMENT SOFTWARE EVALUATION COMMITTEE INTERIM PROGRESS REPORT” was the subject line. The body of the e-mail wasn’t at all what the heading was. Two major themes: PUDFARB’s President is pissed that the uptime on theirContinue Reading
For the normie world, choosing a creative career is nuts. Failure is the likely result. A creative will spend most of their years toiling in anonymity and suffering the slings and arrows of normie rejection for making such an absurd choice. “I’m going to earn my living as a writer,”Continue Reading
Failure to commit is my life’s purpose. My wish is to earn a living with these words. My other wish is to enjoy the fruits of my bougie life. These two wishes conflict. So I live on the fence top neither writer nor cube rat. I want to be oneContinue Reading