Wuhan Kung Flu

Let’s stop dancing around the elephant in the room. It’s the Wuhan Flu (武漢流行性感冒). Actually . . . it’s the Wuhan Kung Flu. SARS COVID-19 is a novel SARS virus similar to the Spanish Flu. As time goes on it seems that it is very, very highly infectious but about as deadly as the seasonal flu we get every year. The deadly thing isn’t the virus. It is our collective freak-out over the Wuhan Kung Flu.

There are two illnesses afoot in our country. One is Wuhan Kung Flu. The other is a collective panic attack yeasted up by media celebrities and Maoist Yellow True Believers who saw the tea leaves and decided that this is their moment. These YTB’s happily get naked and flop onto the couch with their legs akimbo for a GFE with the Chinese Communist Party.

Obummer and the Debaclecrats used their 8 years to sell our country to anyone with enough money. The Chinese, ever enterprising, wooed the Sowshul Demutants with promises of a dynasty and epic wealth. We are the drug sick crack-whore willing to fuck for a $10.00 piece.

Wuhan Kung Flu Sauce for Your Laptop?

Name a laptop that isn’t made in China. My Lenovo t480s that I bought last year was made in 深圳. Ditto my phone and tablet. Very little is made in this country anymore. Smithfield Country Hams? Chinese. Even critical technology in the F35 fighter is made in China. Last, we owe $1.09 Trillion to China.

Whatever. Right? Not even. When China coughs, we get sick. One theory floating out there is that the Wuhan Kung Flu is a virus hatched under Chinese research contract managed by none other than Dr. Anthony Fauci. Fauci and the Obama Administration paid the lab in Wuhan to work on a novel SARS virus that they could in turn, figure out how to treat. Ok, fine.

Problem. That virus escaped the lab in Wuhan. It’s in our world now making people sick. Dr. Fauci, if this theory is true, you fucked up.

We thought China was our whore. Since 1972 we have been in bed with a country we thought was a nubile, docile exotic flower. That country is a war dragon playing the long game. She’s good with a little bed time because she knows the power of sex, money and fear.

Not Yet Up

Rock bottom is a thing. I don’t know if we are there yet. We are close. China is revealing her true nature as a dragon queen with a taste for ‘merican meat. Orange Menace’s opposition is losing. And it seems that the Lotus Flower we thought was our bitch played us.

We are her bitch. The Dragon Queen owns us. Yes, this connects to Wuhan Kung Flu. I’m about to get to that. You can tell who has Chinese hemorrhoids by the propaganda they publish. The true believers are the ones with the most shrill, dystopian tantrums blaming everyone except the Chinese.

This is an apocalyptic, end of the world health crisis say the Yellow True Believers (YTB’s). Their answer? Maoism. We need a fundamental change to our society. A Cultural Revolution will cure us of Wuhan Kung Flu and save us from our sinful ways.

True Belief

Obama’s Administration further embedded a seditious cadre of Maoists and صحيح المؤمنين الإسلام within the White House. With Billary in the Oval Orifice the road to الجنة would be improved. This is part of a long term plan to make America Maoist Again (MAMA). After all, Mao is the one true way to a perfect world. Anyone who doesn’t see that needs reeducation.

The YTB’s lost a crucial battle when their attempted coup d’etat of Donald Trump turned into a limp dick dystopian tantrum that was full of sound and fury and signified nothing. Nothing Orange Shitweasel has been accused of has stuck. Quite the contrary. Most of the accusations turn out to be things that the Democrats did.

It is a familiar political play that has been invincible for decades. Convict someone in the court of public opinion and leverage that conviction into political death. One problem: Dumpf fights. This is not how it has worked for the YTB’s. They don’t have a counter strategy for someone who answers their accusations with political blows.

Enough specious political theory. I want to move on to our collective freak-out. We were told in February that this was the arrival of the Day of Judgement. The excesses of the ‘Mericans would be called to account and the final judgement pronounced on a corrupt system that profited the rich and oppressed the proletariat. This would be to the glory of Mao.

Shut It Down

The answer was to shut down the country, cower in our homes, stay at least six feet away from each other at all times, wear a face mask 247365, and wait until the YTB’s had burned Washington D.C. to purify it of it’s capitalist excesses. In exchange, the YTB’s claim they’ll pay for everything. This might work in a country that has a long history of imperialism. ‘Merica is a country of dissidents. We don’t comply in the good times. Making us panic makes us even more ornery.

Panic attacks have a cycle. Our reptile brains scream at us to either fight or flee during the attack. That’s where we are today. Soon, though, comes depression as all that adrenaline and dopamine exhausts itself and the thing we want most is sleep. Maybe peanut butter and banana sandwiches. And beer, definitely beer.

A noisy minority of our leaders and media celebrities want the attack to continue for as long as possible. They know that in the heat of our aroused state we’ll say yes to damn near any crazy idea if it will help us calm down. Free shit? Sure. Bigger, more authoritarian rule? Yeah, if it makes us safer.

Mama Knows Best

Various mayors and governors have showed their true colors as Maoist Yellow True Believers (YTB). As we start to venture out of our homes these brokers of anxiety have escalated demands that we stay in our homes in the name of public safety. These wanna-be barons insist that non-essential businesses stay shut down. “Essential” seems to mean, “contributed to my campaign.” These mayors and governors have a narrative they are sticking to.

There have been multiple, conflicting narratives about Wuhan Kung Flu. One is that this is our fault as the seat of the Evil Capitalist Empire. We did this and we should genuflect before Mao while asking for His mercy and forgiveness. Another is that this is a serious crisis but it’s been exploited by YTB’s who believe this is their moment in history to rise to their rightful seat of power. My favorite is that this is an alien virus released by the Illuminati to make us amenable to mind control by Google’s DeepMind AI.

So we get a range of responses. Some of my customers worry about me, about my car, about what sort of evil festers back there where about 20 people a day sit for 15 minutes or so while I drive them to their destination. They come armed with hand sanitizer and Lysol spray ready to do battle with the capitalist demons laying in wait for them.

Just a Ten Piece

One of them didn’t last more than two minutes eight weeks ago before asking me to stop the car and he got out. As he exited the door his words were, “this car is infecting my brain. I hate your sinful capitalist ways! You need to come to Mao and put copies of the Little Red Book in the seat pockets back here.” The problem? I didn’t want him spraying the seats with Lysol. Also, I wasn’t’ wearing a mask. Yeah . . . I’ll get right on that.

My dysfunctional customers are just happy that the voices in their heads are quiet enough to get through the ride. They don’t wear masks and chat with me about the Illuminati implanting an AI in Salmon Voldemort’s brain. For the last couple months I haven’t seen much of the dutiful YTB’s. I’ve made money giving rides to my other customer base: the crazies and criminals. It’s made me nostalgic for 1980’s Oakland, CA Friendly Cab.

At some point even the most devout YTB’s are going to have to come out of the house. All this social distancing stuff has become a farce. It’s simply not possible to shop in a grocery store and stay six feet away from everyone. Masks are another farce. People wear masks incorrectly. The variety of face coverings is emblematic of attitudes towards Kung Flu. You see noses peaking over the top of Harley Davidson handkerchiefs tied around the face. I see people evaluating the crowd coming toward them in the store or on the street and raising or lowering the mask based on their level of anxiety.

Iterate

What’s coming is an emotional crash after an anxiety attack like the one we experienced. To recover we’ll want to shut down. This means that the number of folk who stop giving a fuck will outnumber those praying to Mao in their living rooms. There will be propaganda in the press telling us what sinful people we are and that the answer is to double down on the Cultural Revolution. Some will but more won’t. And the YTB’s will find themselves becoming a topic of snarky meme’s gone viral.

After a fight there is depression, apology, honeymoon and rinse, repeat. “Plus les choses changent, plus elles restent les mêmes.” We are still in the fight so ahead of us is depression. I don’t think we will see an apology because neither BuyDem or Twitler do that. The YTB’s will move the ball and scream about the next perceived dystopian nightmare. They are losing the messaging game so their future is as an amusing reason to waste mass storage on the cloud.

So much of what folk do and feel about Kung Flu has to do with their attitude towards risk and misery. Folk who lean choleric or melancholy resonate with the YTBs. Marxism and Maoism are angry political philosophies. Being a successful Maoist means being pissed off at an ephemeral enemy that is the reason for one’s misery. It is that ephemeral enemy that must change so the Maoist YTB can feel good. These are the ones still cowering in their safe spaces inside their homes. The ones with eight weeks of delivery containers from their favorite takeout places are still piled up around the trash can(s) inside the house.

Life Goes On

The other half, the phlegmatic and sanguine folk, are going about their lives. Some do the needful, some don’t. Our Guvna KnawThem’s dictates fall on their deaf ears. In my neighborhood the smoke from BBQ grills is part one of a two part proscription for Wuhan Kung Flu. Part 2 is beer. The resulting symptom is a drunken sermon on the front lawn accompanied by Spotify’s RapCaviar.

I can’t resist a little preaching. Our institutions are failing us. It’s going to get worse. We’ll have to rely on kin, friends and neighbors. If you don’t already own the land you live on now would be a good time to buy. Start a garden or expand the one you have. If your municipality will let you have chickens, rabbits, and maybe a goat, you need those. Spend some time at the gun range so you can hit what you are aiming at. Yes, own a gun. Own something to defend yourself and something you can hunt with. Join a church or something like the Rotary Club.

Start bartering with people so you don’t rely entirely on cash or credit to acquire what you need. Get out of debt except for your mortgage. Keep a supply of water and food sufficient to keep yourself and your kin fed for a month, longer if you can. For more on this, Survival Sullivan.

That’s enough. Kung Flu isn’t going to kill us all. And the Yellow True Believers don’t know it yet but they are becoming a joke. China? I won’t be surprised if we end up in a war with the dragon we thought was our bitch.