You Might Be a Christian

Stealing a prompt from Jeff Foxworthy and David Letterman. Jeff’s, “You Might be a Redneck” is on YouTube and also below:

Ok, without further, you might be a Christian if:

  1. You have lost everything and somehow recovered, transformed.
  2. You do random acts of kindness as a matter of habit.
  3. You have forgiven that asshat (again, again, again) more than 70 times 7.
  4. You have prepared a meal for guests, including some who showed up uninvited, wondered if you had prepared enough and there were leftovers.
  5. You sometimes break out into song in public at really strange times with old school stuff like Aretha Franklin.
  6. Words, the right words, matter.
  7. You care about a person’s deeds while you also are gracious toward them.
  8. You have fasted four meals a week as a spiritual practice.
  9. A friend has reported that they were healed after you touched them. You didn’t tell them that as you touched them you also accidentally prayed for said healing.
  10. You tend to be in trouble with the local parish because your “speaking truth to power” is treated like blasphemy.

Christianity was a “Dao”, a way (道), before it became the religion of the empire. It is a dissident life with origins in what we know of as Israel. Those that call themselves fundamentalist ought to be wearing prayer shawls, growing their beard, eating kosher, singing hymns in Hebrew and listening to 109FM, Tel Aviv. Christianity pervades the culture of every people who were once touched by the Roman empire. You may not like church. I’m with you there. There is still too much of Rome in it. Jesus of Nazareth has had a bigger influence on life than any king in history. You might be a Christian and not know it.