First Posted 01-Mar-2015
Following is a list (yes, I’ve succumbed to the temptation to do lists. I’ll get back to prose soon enough) of words and their definitions. The torment of Liberals is revealed in their language. They say they are for the people yet their policies fatten the bellies of bureaucrats and impoverish the populace. When you hear the president talk about making things better for the middle class his policies say he wants to make things better for his union friends. They speak of democracy yet their demands cry out for a king.
Some cower on university campuses self-incarcerated in safe spaces holding out hope that a perfect prison will keep out triggering experiences or micro-aggressions. They protest oppression yet exact oppression against their enemies. In translating liberal-speak it is useful to listen with an antonymous ear.
A redneck might say to a woman, “Let me give you a ride on my tractor.” Tractors are incredibly evil. They spew sooty diesel fumes, have a massive carbon footprint, and enable corporate agribusiness robber barons to pollute millions of acres with chemicals. The food produced using tractors is toxic.
A proper human, though, would invite her friend to coffee, the offer fraught with danger and meaning. Then maybe quote Mao’s, “Little Red Book” just to be sure any offense can be forgiven. The list is below:
The Lexicon of Liberals
|Acid||LSD, a means of enlightenment|
|African American||Black, also authentically human. The humanity of others is questionable.|
|الله Allah||The One True God|
|Anarchist||Intelligent woman. There are no intelligent, anarchist white men. Any intelligent man will be African American, though the gender pronoun of “man” is questionable. Rue Paul passes, sometimes.|
|Barack Hussein Obama II||Current president and future emperor of the Free Revolutionary Federation of the Union of States. Obama gets a pass as a man because he is black and married to Michelle, who gives him his in.|
|Challenged||Adjective, used in pairs with a noun, to state a handicap. “Mobility Challenged” would mean, “can’t walk”|
|Christian||Synonymous with “Fundamentalist” or “Evangelical” and very much an evil epithet along with Republican and Conservative. Liberal Christian is an oxymoron. Matthew Fox is a heretic.|
|Coffee||c.f. OED with this addition: it is the beverage of choice in Berkeley, CA. Elite comrades drink Peet’s Major Dickenson’s.|
|Communist||Correct philosophy for an orthodox Liberal. Antonym to Republican|
|Conservative||Not quite as insulting as “Republican” but still, an epithet you want to be careful with.|
|Job||Something uneducated white men do because they can’t find a better way to remain fed and housed. Truly pious liberals are able to thrive without a real job.|
|Male||epithet, Chauvinist Pig, you can stipulate that men are dogs, are stupid, and except for their sperm, useless. They are also the cause of most trouble for regular people–”women.|
|Mentally Challenged||Stupid, crazy, also, “White”|
|Middle-Class||Synonym for “Union”|
|Muslim||الإسلام هو الدين الحق واحد The One True religion|
|Queen||Properly dressed man or woman|
|Republican||This is a swear word never spoken in polite company. It is a bitter insult only directed at the most hateful humans–white men.|
|Union||Used in conjunction with “job” to denote an orthodox (real) job.|
|White||Privileged person needing sensitivity training. White people are ipso facto, challenged.|
|Woman||See also African American. human|
Now that you have some definitions, you can listen to the liberal press and understand them better.