It’s What I Do, Deal With It

Seven Deadly Sins

First Posted 01-Feb-2015

We came back around to the topic of marriage in Sunday School this morning. For us, we believe in either fidelity in marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness. This puts us at odds with the loud minority that has a tantrum every time someone suggests that this is a principle to live by. What about everyone else, who doesn’t believe this? Are we going to condemn or judge them? What do you mean only fidelity in marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness? Gender is not binary, it’s a blend, with some folk tending to be more typically feminine and others tending to be more butch. Then there is the whole rabbit hole of pronouns.

Each time I come back around to this I get uncomfortable on a couple of points. I’m not saying everyone is like this. But, there is a loud minority that posits three things: (1) we are born into and destined to be who we are. Nothing can change who we are. History is destiny, so get over yourself. (2) All impulses, all things imagined which could be done, should be done. There are folks with a vampire fetish who claim that they are innately vampires and are simply following their destiny so it’s ok. Nobody is getting hurt and those being bled volunteer, so no problem. Yeah, uhm, let me think . . . nope, still a bad idea. My friend who is separated from her husband joked that she wanted to murder him. It would be ok since these predicates say that she was born to be a murderous bitch.

I really, really hope you find the above paragraph as insane as I do. Life gets very ugly if our brilliant imaginations are unleashed and we actually do some of what is in our heads at any given moment. There are a lot of ugly impulses and bad ideas that don’t get acted on by the grace of God. That’s a good thing. Also, people change, sometimes for the better. The assertion that we do not change, that we are fated to be who we are, is, thankfully, proven false by those that do change. This gets me around to the part of the LBGT community that makes this case. They say they were born this way, immutable, and thus, should be allowed to follow the impulse, the drive to behave in ways which include two nuts doing the horizontal bop, two bolts doing it, multiple bolts & nuts doing it, to break down the barriers of sexual oppression and celebrate the diversity of sexual expression in whatever form it may strike our fancy to perform. Hey, if you can find a sheep and haven’t had sex in a couple hours, why not?

Because . . . part of growing up is learning that not every behavior we may imagine to be something we want to do is a behavior we should do. Once in a while we get news stories of a guy with a fetish breaking into homes and stealing bras and panties. My friend, when she’s pissed at her estranged husband, having fantasies of murder, is doing a good thing by not acting on them. It’s good that vampire fetishes remain something a small minority indulges in and don’t go viral. Those that want same-sex relationships to be the norm would have us enslaving people as livestock so we could drink their blood. Don’t do that. It’s just wrong.

The rising desire for same-sex relationships is not ipso facto, a reason to have same-sex relationships. You can forgo sex that is deemed inappropriate under the premise that appropriate sex is only within a marriage between a man and a woman. Our history is not our destiny. We are mutable, capable of change, of facing down a strong storm of temptation. We don’t have to just go with the flow of that impulse. Of course, now that I’ve said this, I am a bigot, a hater, a dense, stupid, stubborn idiot who is a Luddite and doesn’t understand that the world has changed since the first century of the church.

I don’t care. I lived that childish life, following whatever impulse struck my fancy. I did what I wanted, to whom I wanted, as many times and whenever I wanted. People got hurt along the way. My name isn’t spoken with joy among my kin. I never had sex with a guy. That wasn’t it. Go back through this blog if you must know. I’ve confessed here so you can find out what my major malfunction is/was. There are people that do know so if you must, you can figure it out. I know why I don’t like it when people say that we are immutable, fated to be who we are and that it’s a good thing to follow our fancy and behave without regard to fair boundaries. It’s what bugs me about the LBGT community. I hear them telling me I’m a fool for wanting to live a less wanton life. If I am a fool for wanting a more restrained, ascetic life, so be it. I’ve had my fill of the other life.