Swamp Lizards

tbh, I don’t care about Swamp Lizards. I am Christian and until Constantine, we were a group of dissident Jews who followed a lowly Nazarene carpenter born in Bethlehem named Jesus. The Roman Empire tried to eliminate us because we were a threat. Still today there are places in the world where fielty to Christ could get you jailed or killed. So what I care about is my fellow disciples of Christ. The Swamp Lizards are not my circus nor my monkeys. And yet I’ve added 1500 words to this blog because I can’t ignore their declared war on us, the Others.

The Swamp Lizards have been on a multi-year tantrum because their king left the White House to go play golf in Palm Springs. He left the keys with his bitch, Hillary Clinton. On the darkest day in Swamp Lizard’s history, she lost the keys and the devil himself found them. Donald John Trump won the 2016 Presidential Election.

Pussy Hat

Swamp Lizards Knit Pussy Hats

Plenty have rejoiced and/or protested over the fact that the Queen is busy knitting pussy hats in Chappaqua. The Blue Swamp Lizards want their 2015 back. Instead, they’ve got two horrors. Hair Gropenfuhrer usurping the throne and the Swamp King responding to cries to come out of retirement with Instagram pictures of Mai Tais.

Drinks on the beach

Why worry? Reason #1 is that the level of redunkulousness exhibited by powerful Swamp Lizards in Congress has achieved epic levels. Somebody within the Swamp gave the green light to revolution. It’s all in for them. Reason #2 is that on the way to defeat they are hard at work building a legacy that fucks over the Others. That needs to stop.

Recent examples are the “reasonable” gun control laws working their way through the Virginia Legislature this session and the passage of a $15.00/hr. minimum wage. The high minimum wage pisses me off because it means the expansion of my business just got a lot more expensive. I’m not going to be able to afford new hires in the short term. Paying $15.00/hr. means the job costs me $25.00/hr. But Blue Lizards don’t think beyond the good feels that go with deciding to pay a living wage.

Core Principles

The tenor of the edicts sent to me by registered mail is this: “stop doing that“. Doing what? Defying the laws of the Swamp Kingdom. To which the answer is, “I follow Christ.” Wrong answer. Whatever.

It’s useful to review the Swamp Kingdom Core Principles:

  1. They are nothing without the Swamp.
  2. All Hail the Swamp King, who provides their every need and comfort through the benevolence of his Court.
  3. It’s not their fault. Swamp Lizards are victims of the oppression of those Others outside the Swamp Kingdom that are to blame for their miseries.
  4. They own nothing. There is no need to own anything because the Swamp King provides everything for them. Chicken is rationed because of shortages. Stupid others. There is no announced timeframe when chicken will be more widely available.
  5. All Swamp citizens will be treated equally. Though, some Swamp (Blue) Lizards are more equal.
  6. Swamp citizenship is open to anyone. Their borders are open to anyone seeking refuge from the Others.
  7. Truth is what the Swamp King’s court says it is.
  8. To each according to his or her needs from each according to his or her ability.
  9. The Swamp King is the law. There is no other law.
  10. It’s not theft if you need it and you took it from someone who has more ability.

It seems reasonable, no? No messy Senate to trouble with. The Justice system is streamlined because all the judges are vassals. Everything important is free—prenatal care, health care, education all the way through college, mincome, housing including all utilities and Internet connectivity, and food. No worries at all, right? Try paying cash for a whole, raw chicken at a Blue Swamp Lizard store.

Triumph Over Anxiety

You Shall Know Them

Whelp . . . actually . . . not so much. You can check out this link for reasons why. There is also this search result with the tag socialism. First, though, I want to list some characteristics of Swamp Lizards.

  1. Swamp Lizards are grounded in anxiety. People are basically evil. The reality we live in is a shit-show, then they die.
  2. While they are all about the law their adherence to the King’s law is tricky. The law is a weapon used against the Others and enemy Swamp Lizards. Swamp Lizards are indifferent to following the law themselves.
  3. The only thing of worth Swamp Lizards have is their reputation. Even that isn’t completely theirs. They get their reputation from the Swamp King’s court through an app on their phones.
  4. Swamp Lizards are redeemed through the Swamp King’s Law. That’s what Swamp Lizards say in earshot of the surveillance systems. In truth, they are masterful cheaters.
  5. Emotional truth overrules demonstrable fact. Said another way, if it feels true it is true.

Not my circus, not my monkeys, right? I wish. I live in Richmond, VA. A Blue Swamp Kingdom Duke is our governor. The Blue Swamp Lizards won a majority in our legislature. We’ve spent all of Cheeto Satan’s tenancy in the White House trying to replace him with a swamp lizard. Which is tangential to me.

One more thing before I continue—black and brown humans are livestock to the Blue Swamp Lizards. Blue Swamp Lizards need blacks and browns so they have the proper virtue signals. There has to be an oppressed proletariat of brown and black humans for the Blue Lizards to fend off challenges to their zeitgeist. All in the name of being down for the cause.

Don’t Care

I said at the beginning that I really don’t care about Swamp Lizards. That is true. Actually, no it isn’t true. Things have escalated and so now I have to care at least a little. The Swamp King’s Court has declared war on the Others, starting with Tang Tyrant. Their terms are victory or death. They are losing so I guess it’s death for them.

So they’ll say this post is a call for genocide. The Blue Lizards will call the FBI, the NSA, the CIA, M-6, friendly diplomats from Massachusets Avenue in DC and cohorts in social media to demand that this post be removed. Ok, fine. The claim will be that my words, “I guess it’s death for them” are a dog whistle to White Nationalists and Right-Wing Fascists to use their assault weapons to kill blue lizards on sight. Because they feel this to be true, it is true.

Here is the thing. I don’t think we have to do much to witness the loss of face and eventual political death of the Blue Swamp Lizards. No histrionics are needed from the Red Lizards. The Blue Lizards are already hard at work providing the bloviating. They are already self-immolating with the Iowa Caucus. We just have to stick to our Way.

Singing Off-Key

I’m not going to recite the hymn detailing Cheeto Satan’s sins/ac­comp­lish­ments since taking office. I’ll let you do the search for yourself. I wasn’t a huge fan of Tang Tyrant. 2016 was another Hobson’s choice where I could vote for Billary or PEEOTUS. I voted for Trump because I was tired of the Swamp Lizard’s promises that ended up being wind and water.

I knew then that draining the swamp was a declaration of war with the civil service under the Executive Branch. It’s not surprising that Trump has lifted a few rocks and discovered lizards that needed political death. Obama promised Hope and Change and we got nothing. Trump said he’d drain the swamp and the swamp went to war. Trump is winning and in turn, the Others (Us) are winning.

We are at an inflection point in our history. Blue Swamp Lizards are gathering in covens to cast spells in a desperate effort to eliminate the existential threat they feel after 173 years of trying harder. It’s not working. Impeaching Trump was supposed to be a penultimate victory that would protect the swamp. Instead, he was acquited.

Feckless Blue

The Blue Lizards have a slate of candidates for the Presidency that is pitiful. None of them have a practical vision for the next leg of our 231-year experiment in constitutional republicanism. The Blue Lizards say they are about diversity and inclusion and yet the leading candidates are old/older white men. They are a mess.

Which . . . actually . . . is a good thing. I said a few paragraphs previous that I don’t think we have to do much to continue the political deaths of the Blue Swamp Lizards. They lost in 2016 and the fallout of that is going to continue.