MAMA V MAGA
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE! TONIGHT’S MAIN EVENT, MAMA V MAGA! In the blue corner, the reigning, defending champion of the Empire, wearing blue trunks and a cute rainbow sports bra, MAMA! In the red corner, the enemy of God, the evilest, evil, evil contender of all time, the racist,Continue Reading
PUDFARB DIE BUREAU
This must be a leaked e-mail. I was BCC’d on it. “PUDFARB DIE BUREAU PROJECT MANAGEMENT SOFTWARE EVALUATION COMMITTEE INTERIM PROGRESS REPORT” was the subject line. The body of the e-mail wasn’t at all what the heading was. Two major themes: PUDFARB’s President is pissed that the uptime on theirContinue Reading
That’s Not Possible
For the normie world, choosing a creative career is nuts. Failure is the likely result. A creative will spend most of their years toiling in anonymity and suffering the slings and arrows of normie rejection for making such an absurd choice. “I’m going to earn my living as a writer,”Continue Reading
Back Then
Back then, Charlie was all that. High school football, adored by cheerleaders, Honors Society student, courted by Ivy League schools, the beaux of Ophie, who was the sought-after bell of the Bal du Bois. He was top ten with a bullet. Today? He lives in the staff dorm at aContinue Reading
Neesha Started It
Neesha started it. She is white. Not just caramel brown with kinky blonde hair. Full hillbilly white—straight blonde hair, blue eyes, 115lbs, 5’3″ . . . bra size? You sick bastard. Hips? Don’t, just don’t. You misogynist, evil sycophant of the patriarchy! Neesha identifies as black and you are racistContinue Reading
Failure to Commit
Failure to commit is my life’s purpose. My wish is to earn a living with these words. My other wish is to enjoy the fruits of my bougie life. These two wishes conflict. So I live on the fence top neither writer nor cube rat. I want to be oneContinue Reading
Fairy Money
I have two kinds of fairy money I want to talk about. Before I continue, it’s April 28th, 2023 as of this edit. Early voting for this year’s legislative election begins next week (5/5/2023). A small but important victory in the fight against the Woke True Folk is Republican controlContinue Reading
So Judgy
It’s time to fight. The pansies who dominate our headlines and occupy all the oxygen on social media need to sit down and shut up. Us, the fathers that remember what it means to lead, need to push them off the stage. We will be so judgy because the WokeContinue Reading
Teach Them to Hate
That’s going to be awesome! Teach Them to Hate Themselves and everyone else. Teach Them to Hate their bodies and that the answer is to take medication and accept cosmetic surgery that transforms them into Lebensborn. Find the things that let you say, “I Hate X“. Die kommunistische Partei insgesamt!Continue Reading
I Hate X
Without X my life would be awesome. I hate X. It is s/his’ fault. X has all the privileges. S/he is above the law. X has all the money and power. X is stupid bougie and that’s not fair. If only I could make X the same as me I’dContinue Reading





